The day before our departure.

Upon realizing that I was not able to find my passport in my apartment just days before the trip…

Anton: “Mom, I don’t know what to do… I can’t find my passport… what can I do?”

Mother: “Don’t worry, I have it. I found it lying around and kept it from you in order to teach you to take better care of your things. You always lose things…”

Into my backpack they go!

    

  That conversation occurred on the Monday of the week we were to leave for Viet Nam. Truthfully, I wasn’t able to get excited along with the rest of the MEMObers solely because I wasn’t able to find my passport until then.  I had been stressing out about my passport for weeks and was envious of the people who were getting excited while I would go day by day worried about the possibility of not going on the trip.

Tanks on tanks on tanks.

  

   The relief from the moment I found out where my passport was felt like a release. I felt like I could FINALLY get excited for this trip. After the firecracker explosiveness of finding my passport, my excitement level was just about steaming throughout Monday night. It was simmering Wednesday when I went to go buy some supplies. There is nothing that will quicken the approach of an event more than shopping, where you go out and find the necessary materials for your departure.

Some necessities.

     I’m sorry, I lied. There is actually something that will make the trip come sooner, and that is packing. Especially when you've lagged, and started just hours before you leave for the airport. Despite the looming mini-anxiety of forgetting something important, my excitement for the trip was at an all-time high. I was jittery and could not sit still for the life of me.

   

     As I packed my articles of clothing into my Ziploc bags, it slowly dawned on me what I am about to embark on. The realization of the work I’m about to do, the people I’m about to help, that I will be coming back to my homeland. 

Prettty cool :]

Bobby McFerrin hacks your brain with music | Video on TED.com

On beauty...

"It's a kind of radiance. People who possess a true inner beauty, their eyes are a little brighter, their skin a little more dewy. They vibrate at a difference frequency."

~ Cameron Diaz

Thoughts as I listen to a Bruno Mars' Doo-Wops &;Hooligans.

No copyright

infringement intended. 

Cameron Diaz's quote reflects the idea of someone completely comfortable in their skin. Skin as in not just the physical encasing of our body but also in our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. When someone is comfortable with themselves, they enjoy who they are and live more freely. They don't carry the worry of what other people think of them because they understand not only that it does not matter to them but that it won't affect them; without this weight they aren't bound to, strongly at least, to social expectations. They start to act how they want to act, believe what they want to believe, and do what they want to do. You can see this very often with people who either have a strong belief system, have a sense of purpose in their life, or maybe both. Another way of saying this is that they have a good sense of identity. They can be tall people or short people, rich and famous or poor and unknown, black, white, brown, yellow, or blue, the potential for us to exist with such "radiance" is in all of us.

On a side note... I'm trying to get back into writing again, whether that be through blogging or writing in my journal. It's taken me a while to realize that my soul is most at peace when I am writing. Writing helps me think clearly and puts my ideas, stresses, and life in a different perspective. Without it my brain becomes unorganized and I become more stressed out inhibiting my ability to think freely. I wish to find a sort of inner peace with myself, and I think blogging will help me do so. More of this to come!

The End of Fall Semester '09

Hello all!

It has been over half a year since I last posted on this blog, and would have been longer had a little girl not irked me to return with her enthusiasm.

There's no sense in me recapping my life since than, for not only would that be narcissistic but a pain. Imagine that, covering 8 months worth of my life in a blog? No thank you. I'm afraid I'd bore you and myself.

So if we don't talk about the past than what can we possibly talk about? How about the now!

Right now I'm taking down some lecture notes about John Coltrane for my finals next week. I've always found jazz interesting, it's history and style of music was always worth my time. I didn't believe there could be a way for it to be a waste of my time, but sadly, there is. My jazz history teacher is such a bore that music majors have dropped his class, and I would have followed suit were it not because of my need for another humanity class. But on to lighter and brighter news!

A while back my friend Stephen posted up a youtube video on facebook where a German band covered American hits. What was interesting is not that they were German, but how they covered these songs: in a rockabilly style reminiscent of the 1950s. Upon further research, there is a subculture in Europe that thrives out of dissatisfaction of today's mainstream.

Closing out this blog will be one of their first released songs, a cover of Rihanna's Umbrella, fitting for today's weather. Good night and good day world!

Anton & Nicole's Musing's II

What stuck out to me was when you said:

I mean, come on, that's why there are rapists: they wanna feel the love. Know wha'I'm sayin'?

A while ago a friend and I were talking about love, and he concluded that everybody does things out of love, or out of the need for love.

I personally feel that everybody craves contact, people want to feel connected to others. They want their souls to be touched.

You can see this at sporting events or rallies, where everyone is yelling together. In such cases, the people are acting as one, they become known as "the crowd." So much has been made of this that there is even a branch of psychology dedicated to it; crowd psychology. Together they feel themselves empowered, not because they are connected to one soul, but many.

If that doesn't strike you, than imagine this. You are walking down a street with a boy who makes you feel giggly, warm, or even comfortable. You feel safe with him. As you stroll along you stumble along a pleasant stillness, far opposite from the awkward silences that so often plagues teenage relationships. During this quiet moment, he reaches for your hand and as he is about to touch your hand, you grab his. A certain electricity surges through both your bodies: you've finally crossed the boundary where only the truly intimate are allowed entrance.

Something I've learned in my short (almost) 19 years of living is to not bother and try to solve the mystery of love. Instead, I just marvel at it. And I'll be glad if it, any of it, happens to come to me.

Simple Guidelines to Life.

It's amazing how easily it is to forget some basic guidelines of life.

Don't judge quickly.

Do what you love.

Don't tell people what to do when you don't do it yourself.

In my last post I had felt a certain amount of confused sorrow. My emotions were on a high and my hormones were skyrocketing.

I thought she didn't like me. I thought I screwed up.

But after talking to her, I just felt better. I still don't know if she likes me or not, but it doesn't matter. Talking to her brought me enough joy for today and beyond.
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Money isn't everything.

Nothing is everything.

Take chances.

Never say never.

You win some. You lose some.

God is good. All the time.

All the time. God is good.
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Thank you, I'm okay now.

God and Sports?

I was just finishing up an episode of the boxing anime Hajime no Ippo, where Ippo the main character takes on Date, the champion. I'm an avid sports fan and have often linked many aspects of sports to every day living. A religious thought occurred to me today while watching this championship bout. There are certain kinds of people that are made to represent the sport, thus, becoming champions. They are few in number, and the greatest have an everlasting influencing on the nature of the sport. The rest of us, as a result, are fans. We simply wish to be fans of the sport, to emulate the champions in whatever way we can, either through our normal daily lives, or possibly taking up the sport itself and becoming great. 

Now how this relates religiously is through relations with God. There are those of us who want to be one with him, to be like him, to be his champion. These can be correlated to the Christian Saints or the Hindu Saviour. And than there are those who have appreciate the sport, realizing that they can never become champions, choose to watch and support those in whichever way they can. 

In sport too, there are those who seek perfection. And our lives, we seek to be like God but in the end, we cannot be totally like him. Just as there is no perfect fighter, no perfect basketball player, no perfect football player, our human limitations prevent us from doing so. 

But that is not to say we should stop trying, because in our reaching for lofty goals, we cross our human boundaries and transcend beyond ourselves. As a humanity, we become greater through our efforts. 

I hope I explained everything clearly enough, and if I've made mistakes, feel free to correct me